First Blog

Hello Everyone,

I have set up this Blog as a means of keeping all of you informed and close to my heart as I go through this journey. It has been a whirlwind that began a couple weeks ago. This past Monday, October 18th, I was diagnosed with cancer. At this point we don't know what type of cancer but I spent the week involved in tests and we should have some answers next Thursday so that will be a BIG day for all of us.
In the meantime, I have been focused on friends and family, prayer, and the deeper meaning of life! As I've prayed and visited with family and friends I have had many tell me how proud they are of me for being so strong. This has caught me off guard because I will walk this challenge in the same way I have walked the rest of my life. I look at this very simply, I feel I have tried to live in a positive way all of my life, looking at the potential silver lining in every seemingly bad thing that happens. This has not always been easy but it has gotten me through some pretty tough times.
The challenge this time has been finding the silver lining when posed with such a personal and serious change in my life. I've been spending a great deal of time on the phone, talking to my large and wonderful family, friends, some that I rarely see, and even kids that I have taught or known over the years. As I've done this the purpose of my life has literally been redefined.
I have enjoyed all of the conversations and hope to continue with those throughout this process so please do not take this blog as a replacement for actually talking to me or visiting me! I will always be open to talking with all of you and happy to have the comfort of your company.

The other night I was praying and something very special happened; I was talking to God and I was telling him how many of my family and friends were changing their view of how to handle this type of grief in their lives and that my family and friends were telling me that it was mostly because of how I am dealing with it and that I was teaching them. I had found my silver lining.....
Many of us grieve and wonder why God would take someone so young....or why me.... I have never felt that because I know that God does everything with a purpose and because of that, I would search for the purpose with each tragedy. So obviously, I am trying to find a higher purpose connected to my situation. If I can help others to find a better way to deal with this grief, which we will all face at various times in our life, and if we can be positive and trust in God to drive our journey, which is what he wants, then we will live each day knowing that he is in the driver's seat and not us.
This changed my whole focus on my prayer. As I continued talking with God, I realized that focusing on an outcome for my tests was not the most important thing, instead, I decided that I would accept the challenge, to be God's vessel and teach everyone that I could, how to put God first each and every day because we will all be faced with the same challenges that I am facing at some point. Therefore, this is what I am asking you do:
Pray each morning and put God in front of each day. Tell someone you love them and that they are in your prayers i.e.
Jay, I love you and as I prayed this morning I thought of you. I am going to have a wonderful day and I hope you do too! I love you. Susan
If each of you did this, not necessarily to me, even though I welcome that too, we would all be in a better place to live the way God is hoping we will live each day. It might sound a little corney but this would be my "Pay It Forward" concept of prayer. A prayer movement so to speak that would grow expotentially as others join us on this journey.